Galaxy dress from By Accident, Bena wedges from Gold Dot
I feel horribly uninspired and miserable. Okay, maybe not quite, but I'm just not my usually happy and vivacious self. And when I'm in this phase it's pretty hard to pull me back up for a few days and I just need to just take a chill pill and relax or something. Maybe I just need another vacation or a new pair of shoes? I don't know, I just need some sort of activity that brings me catharsis. There's so many back stories underneath all the things that people see in me, and most of the times people just don't know how it really is. All I know is, almost a year ago, I decided to dive deep into the prospect of loving and being loved back completely and I thought I made it. I finally got to that point of happiness that people could only conjure in their heads and it was just more than anything anyone could ever hope to have. Months later, my reality completely readjusted and without my significant other by my side, our future is not in the clear and I'm totally in the deep end. The answers continue to elude me and I'm in limbo with what to feel, act and do. I don't know why I find myself in the same situation over and over--it really must be karma or whatever trying to make a joke out of me and laughing with some sort of cosmic rage over my fate. But whatever. I will get back up.
I know I promised to never really go into my emotions here on my blog, but I just had to really let that out of my system. Either that, or I'll spontaneously combust from the inside.
Well, thank God for real friends who are there when you need a huge ass dose of laughter to kind of get you going for awhile. One weekend, and boom, it felt like 2008 again. Nothing but good vibes, and absolutely no complications.
I think I need to get my shit together.
